I thought my CD was done,
But thats not what they say
Do an insult track,
We need it for radio play
American Idol, thats what I look for,
In the poop section of my local record store.
Ruben or Clay, oh which one should I pick,
Its like choosing which puddle of vomit to lick.
And when I want something even more fruity and fit,
I look up N for NSYNC or T for Timberlake.
So many skills Justins making a buck at,
Does he rap, does he sing, he doesnt know what to suck at!
Now as for the bitches, lets give Britney thanks,
For the face that launched a million preteen skanks.
You were a virgin, that had to be hard,
You had more bones in your mouth than a St. Bernard.
I Keed, I Keed
Hes just making little jokes,
I joke with you,
Little dog, Little jokes,
I Keed, I Keed,
Hes just making little jokes,
and your a good actress too.
Now lets go to Walmart,
Where they wont sell me CD,
Those companys nuts are in a jar in aisle three.
But you can see Christina in all her sluthood
Its like watching porn but the musics not as good.
I want to stuff my TVs crotch with a dollar
Still I would hump you if I could wear my flea collar.
Youre looser than my poop after eating honeydew,
Only 50 cents can flunk more than you!
And yet youre too old for Fred Durst to desire,
Hes checking out the cast of Lizzie McGuire
Soon Fred will try to get Mandy Moore,
To open for him and I dont mean on tour!
Youre not the first person for R Kelly
His videos premiere in the LAPD.
I believe they set up an innocent guy.
You know what Kel? I believe I can fly
Now look how frickin cool those guys from the Strokes are
Their riffs are three times as old as my jokes are
The white stripes guy, is that your wife or your sister
Shouldnt you be playing country music mister.
Hey Coldplay, maybe you should be Coldsore.
Back when you were U2, I liked you so much more.
Somehow your song yellow reminds me of pee
I think that when its over, its a big relief to me
Yo Pink, is that your hair or a tattoo?
I didnt know Supercuts had a drive through
Yo Nelly, what the hell kinda name is that?
Thats about as gangster as an Easter Bonnet hat.
And Snoop says he clean, well you make the call
The guys higher than Billy Joels cholesterol,
Snoop theres only room for one dog putz,
And I can rap, can you lick your own nuts?
Poop Diddy, are you in show business still?
I didnt know wearing a suit was a skill.
J.Lo, J.Lo the giant tail-o
For a doggies nose, thats the holy grail-o
Shakiras butts fine, but it wont hold still.
I sniffed Elton Johns tush just for all the history
I sniffed J.Los ass and got too touchy feely
She let loose a bomb that was bigger than Gigli.
Avril Lavinge, punk queen, now theres a kidder,
Go back up north, Celine needs a baby-sitter
Philip Glass, atonal ass, your not immune
Write a song with a f****** tune
And on the list of pooches, dont leave off MTV,
I scared Emineminem, so they gave the hook to me.
Slim Shady, why do you find me scary?
We are just two regular dudes who banged Mariah Carey.
Wipe off that frown, just do without
Hey my mom was a bitch too, but I dont go writing songs about it.
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